A lack of confidence is a killer! It kills your ego, it kills your social life and it kills your opportunities. Not feeling good enough can abolish your happiness and lead you to be depressed. I have personally gone through an emotional rollercoaster with my self-confidence over the years and I understand what it feels like to be at your lowest point.

Depressed, insecure, lonely, not being able to express yourself…tears…. more tears…. a few more tears after that. And just when you think it’s about to get better, the cycle starts again. Is it fair? Not at all! I have 3 tips to take on this year to help overcome this depressing cycle:


DZ30SGvcTodQqp-QW1SD35J1iiw Stop comparing and start living:

They say that comparison is the thief of joy – YES, YES, YES it is! With social networking platforms like Instagram, sitting behind a screen and comparing yourself to others has never been so easy. I admit to being guilty of it sometimes myself but I have gained nothing worth of value through it.

So what if their relationship seems picture perfect on camera? You don’t know what goes on behind the lenses. Or what if the girl across the road owns a ton of Christian Louboutins? Is she going to take them with her when she dies? And what if you don’t have “the perfect body” you dream of having? You have to appreciate what you have and instead of sitting behind a screen, work for it.

Feeling sorry for yourself because your not like someone else, or your not engaging in the same activities as them is not going to make you feel better or more confident. You need to focus on what you want, and get out there and do it.


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images Set a goal, aim for it and achieve:

In order to focus on what you want, you need to set goals and stick to them. Setting goals and not being able to achieve them may sometimes result in depression. This itself hinders your confidence.

Most times when we aim for something and see no progression, we give up and lose hope. I can relate to this particularly in the cases of attempting to get fit and starting new diets in the past. I’d start confident, eager and very much determined but the motivation would only last a few days; and I would find myself back where I started.

In order to achieve your goals, you need to constantly see them. Get a whiteboard or a piece of paper and write down the steps you need to take in order to be where you want to be. It’s important to be reminded of your goals and so you should place what you’ve written somewhere you will be able to see every day. When you write things down you’re able to track what you’ve been able to achieve. That alone can boost your confidence and push you to keep going.


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number3 Speak for yourself, don’t let others speak for you:

Sometimes you may feel like people are looking down at you because of their opinions. I sometimes feel like this when I’m not wearing any make-up around people and I tend to shy away as my confidence levels drop. I feel that people may not treat me the same because I am not as pretty but this is rubbish!!!

Confidence ultimately comes from within, it doesn’t matter what you look like. I realised this when I started going to the gym – a place where I wouldn’t wear any makeup at all. It was my drive to become and stay fit what attracted people to me. Being confident is an attractive attribute to have and people are drawn to it. If a person is confident about himself or herself, they are much likely to be more approachable. I want you to look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself that you’re worth it. Don’t rely on others to tell you.

Jessica Poudy.


Connect with Jessica:

Through her blog and social media  – Twitter and Instagram

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